Where is the hickey?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
