So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
