you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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