Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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