I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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