Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize