someone get that fucking seahorse.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
