All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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