Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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