I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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