I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
