Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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