We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
