Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
