im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
