so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
