Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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