so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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