im having a threesome with these popsicles
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
