I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
