Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
