Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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