Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
