I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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