Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
