Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
whose parrot is this?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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