I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
