1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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