I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
