you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
