Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize