i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize