3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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