We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
