your parents love me but you hate me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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