Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
