He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
false alarm. still invincible.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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