so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
