I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
