They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
