That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
