Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently you make a good broom.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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