i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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