What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
