Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
