I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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