five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
