I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Couch. On fire.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
