if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize