I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
