Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
