My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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