This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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