I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
