You're so nebulous sometimes
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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