my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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