you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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