It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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