Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
