She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He shit in the fireplace
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
