Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize