sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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